The UK had been under the impression that the millstone of being America’s only chum had passed to the French once the British had stopped doing everything the US told them to do.
It seemed only fair as the French can be quite annoying, although slightly surprising as everyone in Britain thought that France regarded America as annoying and not Britain as had once been the French custom.
A statement from a representative of the British said: “No, no it’s quite all right, we would not dream of coming between France and the US and we are quite happy for the French to go on being America’s friend. It could not have happened to a nicer nation and we wish both nations every happiness together. We’ll just soldier on alone and make the sacrifice of not being involved in any more wars if it helps the French be America’s pal.”
The French then issued their own statement: “No, no, we in France are quite happy for the Brits to have America back. We would not wish to stand in the way of Britain and the US stepping into the abyss together.”
To which the UK responded. “No, no we insist. If American doesn’t like us anymore, then who better for them to strike up a new bond with than France?”
And France replied. “This is very nice of the UK but we do feel that Britain was there first and we would not want to come between those two great but ultimately irritating nations who so deserve one another.”
In response, a communiqué from the UK has just been released: “The new bond between France and the US has only lasted a week. We feel the French should stick at it and give it some time . . . perhaps a century or two. We assure France that we are over the breakup now and wish France and America all the best as they embrace the future together.”
To which France replied. “Look, we insist that you take America back. . . . “
Steve Cook is the author of Genghis Kant, a tongue-in-cheek sci fi spoof. See a current newspaper review here. Visit the Genghis Kant on Facebook for a free copy of Steve's latest story "Spilt Milk" of which one reader said: “Loved the Spilt Milk story. Loved the characters and how it all linked together.”