Louisiana purchase and Alaska acquisition also under scrutinyby Steve Cook
As controversy rages in the minds of Barack Obama and his advisors over the alleged illegality of the Crimea referendum, lawyers in Moscow representing a large Russian country are claiming that the US annexation of Texas in 1845 may not have been entirely legal either.
In Crimea, over 80% of its population recently voted to join Russia rather than remain part of the Ukraine after Washington democratically helped freedom-loving neo-Nazis and shady Oligarchs and gangsters take over in Kiev, the Ukrainian capital. The Russian Parliament will then take orders from Vladimir Putin concerning whether to accept the Crimea application to join. This event looks fairly certain to occur and will be the first time in quite a while that anyone asked to join the Russian Empire – as opposed to trying to leave. It represents quite an upturn in Russian fortunes, a happy event ably assisted by the able minds, necromancers and Satan-worshippers who rule the Great Evil Empire to the West.
However, western sources are claiming that such a move would be illegal under international laws that Washington makes up as it goes along and which are specifically designed to prevent citizens, ordinary people and other riffraff getting their own way.
Yet lawyers representing the mysterious large Russian country, which wishes at this stage to remain anonymous, are claiming that the Annexation of Texas may also be illegal. Texas was seized from Mexico in 1845. Although no referendum was held at the time, it was however said to be a response to the will of the vast majority of Texans that they wanted to join the young but rapidly growing American Empire and had “nothing to do with” the territorial and political ambitions of the then-lame-duck President Tyler.
Sources close to the White House, responding to claims that the two situations are remarkably similar and illegal or not illegal depending on which side you are on, issued a terse: “Oh no they are not.”
“Oh yes they are” the mysterious large Russian country responded, to which the White House issued a press release stating: “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”
International law was introduced as a measure to obviate anarchy and war among nations. Under its terms, countries do whatever they think best then claim what they are doing is perfectly legal whilst claiming what other countries are doing is illegal. Once countries have agreed to disagree over what is legal or illegal, they then settle their differences through an arbitration process known as “armed conflict”, in which their leaders kill millions of people who were minding their own business. The one who kills the most people or succeeds in laying waste to the entire planet is declared the winner and, ipso facto, legal.
In a further development, legal moves have been started to examine the legality or otherwise of the US acquisitions of Alaska in 1867 and Louisiana in 1803, with many claiming that Vladimir Putin would have had a more legal claim to Crimea if he has simply bought the deeds from whoever the owner is at, say, 10 roubles per acre.